Are you listening to your partner's love languages?
The 5 love languages is a book written by Gary Chapman that explains how romantic partners experience and reciprocate their love and affection for one another.
Feeling frustrated in your relationship because you don’t know how to express to your partner what you need? Feeling confused on your partner’s needs? As humans we tend to give love the way we want to receive it, rather than understand how they receive love.
So what are the 5 Love Languages?
According to Chapman, the love languages are broken down into 5 categories; Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation & Receiving Gifts.
These are some examples to get you started on showing your partner love through Quality Time. You want to avoid making your partner feel like the time they want to spend with you is needy. This comes across as dismissive and leaves them feeling disconnected from you. Make sure to give your partner undivided attention to make them feel heard, loved and wanted.
When your partner’s love language is Acts of Service, they want you to take the initiative of helping them out in their everyday. A classic case of actions speak louder than words. Your partner does not want to feel like you take the things they do for granted. They need to be reassured that you see them, and appreciate them. By doing things to make it easier on them you’re well on your way to showing them your love.
Touch is often mistaken as only sexual. Try sitting close to each other, play footsies, catch them off guard with a romantic embrace while they are doing something else. These non-sexual physical encounters make them feel loved. However, since not all families show love through touch, especially in certain cultures, your partner might not know how to be physically expressive. Be patient with them. Openly discuss that touch, when done respectfully and affectionately does not have to be a bad thing.
This one reminds us of how important words are. Your partner just wants to hear you say it. “I love you”, ” I appreciate you”, “You look beautiful/handsome”, “Thank you”. Whether in a disagreement or otherwise, words have a little more impact to someone whose love language is Words of Affirmation. The way you speak to them should be done with love, respect and understanding.
Gifts; the most commonly misunderstood one. No it’s not about being materialistic. No, they do not want you to spend obscene amounts of money on things. It all about the thought. Pick up their favourite candy or chocolate bar on your way home from work. Have their favourite picture of the two of you framed. The gift needs to have meaning and when it’s something specific to your relationship, it’s even better.
Have you figured out which language you or your partner speak?
Most couples speak different love languages than each other, so it’s important to openly communicate your needs. It’s just as crucial to initiate the conversation if you’re feeling confused on what your partner wants from you.
Pin the images in this blog post for a reminder when you need it most!
If you’re still a little unsure or are curious to see if you’ve identified your love language correctly, you can take the quiz here.
Want to read more on relationships?
There’s a difference between understanding your partner’s love language to try and get back to where you once might have been. This requires commitment to a mutual goal. But, there could be a more severe underlying issue if you find your partner is dismissive to the idea of actively making the relationship work.
Find out if your relationship just needs a little love tap, or whether it is truly toxic by reading this post.